I am really struggling with my relationship with God. Or, maybe not with God so much as my religion. I feel so empty about it. I am not sure why and it makes me very uneasy.
I always thought of myself as a person with a strong faith. In the belief that God has a plan for us and that everything happens for a reason. I still believe that.
My problem these days is that I have no desire to go to church or to pray or to be spiritual in any sense. And I can't figure out why.
I could blame it on all the crap that has been going on with the Catholic Church but it goes beyond that. That stuff has never gotten in my way before. I was able to ignore it and go to church for my own spiritual well being. It's almost like my faith has just disappeared. My well is dry and it's scary. It is what I usually fall back on when I am confused about what is going on in my life.
I don't know. Maybe it's this depression I seem to be in. Maybe it's carried over into my faith. My lack of joy in life these days. I want to be happy and spiritually satisfied...but I just can seem to find it in me. I keep looking for it with in myself but i just come up empty. Just completely empty.
Toodles
About Me
- TheatreChick93
- Massachusetts, United States
- I am 41 years old. I have been married to my husband for 15 years. We have a son who was born in April 1996. We live in Central Massachusetts with our dog Maggie (a black lab we adopted from the animal rescue league) and our cat Sam (a stray that adopted us) I graduated from college with a BFA in Theatre in 1993 (hence the name) and for a few years pursued a career as an actress. Then life took over and I got married, had a baby and decided to get a "real" job. In November 2004, I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson's disease. In December 2004, I was hospitalized for surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. In December 2009, I was laid off from my job. In June 2010, my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 14. Stick around to see what happens next!
No comments:
Post a Comment