Is it Friday yet?

Random thoughts:

Husband..... is stressed beyond imagination. Work is just crazy for him. He is on the verge of a breakdown I think. I am doing my best to keep everything at home non-eventful but I think I am not doing a very good job.

Child.... is off at my girlfriends house today. School ended yesterday...Camp doesn't start till Monday. Tomorrow he's with my mother-in-law for the day.

Party....Planning for big summer party July 2nd. Only half feel like having it but we do it every year and it will be good to have everyone over. It's just so much work....

Speaking of work, it has been mercifully slow the past two days. Which is good because I don't have enough brain power to manage work and home stuff.

Piano!!! I am finally moving my mother's piano from her home in CT to my home in MA!!! They will pick it up Friday and deliver it to us on Sunday. I am beyond excited. I haven't had a piano since...well...since I moved out of my mother's house 13 plus years ago. I have a keyboard...but it's just not the same. My neighbor, who's kids we watch every morning and take to school, is insisting on paying the cost to move it. I keep telling her she doesn't need to do that...but she won't give up. So, I gave in.

Money...ugh..the bain of our existence. Checking account was overdrawn this AM...adding to the stress that P is feeling these days. We just miss calculated some things. First time that has happened in eons. (We had some financial struggles when we first got married and had a baby 9 months later...) Finances are tight but we are definitely in a good place. We just need to get our spending in check.

PD...I am feeling ok. Body is stiff and tired but I am learning to adjust my life to it. I just hate that I don't have the energy to do stuff. I really need to get back into a routine of exercise. It does really help. But, right now I just feel so ....well...blecky. That dark cloud seems to be getting closer. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad think that I can recognize when depression is looming. I try to fight it but sometimes I feel it's a losing battle.

My messed up menstrual cycle...so have I mentioned my wacky cycle the past year. All over the map. 25 days...28 days...32 days...40 days! Normal bleeding...only bleeding two days then nothing...spotting for 10 days...I am sooooo over this. Dr. says it's just normal ups and downs and the fact that I am over 35 now. Mentioned perimenopause...GREAT!!...says it could last 10 or 15 YEARS!!! yes that is YEARS!! Oh, my poor husband. The cure is birth control pills. But, I can't take them because I have Factor V Leiden. (yeah me!) It's a vicious circle. Plus, I still hold on to that miniscule hope that maybe we might have another child. I know realistically it's a crazy notion...both because physically it just ain't going to happen and because of my PD. But, I still have that glimmer. We don't use any form of birth control so ya never know..... Anyway all this to say here it is CD15 and I have cramps and am spotting and a massive headache....WTF??? I just don't get it. I suppose I should go see a GYN but I just don't have the energy to deal with going to another dr right now. I still haven't called to get my baseline monogram that Dr. B wants me to have or the dermatologist to check out my freckled Irish skin (I'm about as white as the come...no lie, I actually have a blue tinge b/c you can see my veins). There is just so much to do.

Now I feel guilty for complaining. I know my life is good and I am blessed with the things I have. I just get so overwhelmed sometimes.

Anyway, back to work. Only 15 minutes to go...and three emails just came in. Murphy's law...

Later

Crazy week

This week has been nuts. And it's only Tuesday.

B's last day of school is tomorrow. His project was
due Monday and he had an all school string concert
Monday at 4:30. I left work at 4pm to be there and I
hit traffic. I didn't get there until 4:55. I missed
the entire thing! UGH. Luckily he was a good sport
about it.

Today I took the morning off to work at his school.
They did a Math fair. It was cute. It was fun to see
all the other kids. It's only the 2nd time ever that
I've been able to do something in his classroom. I
think it made him happy.

Work has been mercifully slow this week. I don't
think I could handle it otherwise.

I'm working at home tomorrow because he has a 1/2 day.
I am hoping work will be slow again tomorrow. I'd
like to get a bit of a break if I can.

My body is feeling the stress of the past week. I am
SOOO stiff and shaky. I am dealing with it though. I
am also just super tired. It's been in the 90's all
week and I think it is getting to me.

I just feel so stressed and overwhelmed right now. I
don't seem to be able to get anything done. It just
sucks. I don't have the energy or even the desire.
And there is so much to do. I am so far behind on
the laundry and the house is a wreck. And I have a
list a mile long of errands I need to do. Breathe
in....breathe out...breathe in...breathe out! This
too shall pass.

Have I mentioned lately how much my forgetfulness is
getting to me. P says it's not as bad as I think it
is. But, it just really bothers me. I can't recall
things fast enough. I forget names and basic things.
I just wish it wasn't so bad. But it is what it is.

I hope that this week goes by faster than it has been
to this point.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

Not much to say today

Pretty uneventful day.

We went on a quest today to replace my tire. Went to one Town Fair Tire center which didn't have the tire we needed but the really nice sales guy called the other one two towns over and found out they did. So, we trapse all the way there to get said tire.

We had lunch in a Jewish deli. My son was very confused as to why they had decided to call it a Jewish deli. I had to explain to him that it signified the type of food that they had there. Much like chinese or italian. I think he got it but I am not sure. We'll see.

Then we poked around the Christmas Tree Shop. Nothing good there. The place is just not the same since they were bought out. It's too bad. P said you use to go in there and HAD to buy something. Not anymore.

So, we picked up the car. I ran to Target to by P his father's day gift. Then I came home to work on my project...I mean my son's school project. He is doing what is sort of like a book report (yes, it's the last week of school) but you have to make a poster with all these "puzzle pieces" on it. It's very complicated and there is no way in heck he can do this on his own. That's what drives me nuts. They get these projects and the parents end up having to do them. I already went through school and didn't much care for it when I was there....now I have to do it all over again! UGH!

So, now it's dinner time and my son is whining about not wanting chicken. But, that's what I have so that's what he's getting. He's spoiled when it comes to eating out. We do it a lot because we both work full time and some how cooking is the last thing that either of us wants to do at the end of a long day. So, he thinks he we should eat out all the time! He hates when we eat at home. Poor kid...a product of his raising!

It's suppose to be 90 tomorrow. Should be fun!

The scariest 2 days of my life - Wednesday and Thursday

Wednesday continued with my terrible week.

Before I left for work this morning, I received a call from the school nurse. She informed me that B has been stung by a bee on his stomach through his shirt. He had a small flat red circle where he had been stung but otherwise was fine. This was at 8:15AM. She asked me if he had ever been stung before. I said yes, many times, and never had a reaction. She said that was good news but she would just keep an eye on him the next few hours. She circled the red mark on his belly with a pen so she could determine if it was getting bigger.

She checked on him every 20 - 25 minutes. She had him keep an ice pack on it to keep the swelling down. At 12:30 it was his lunch/recess time so she said that he didn't need to check back with her until after recess since there didn't seem to be any progression of the circle on his tummy. At 1:30 when he came to her office she checked his stomach and the circle had progressed about 2 inches around. She called me to inform me of this and asked for permission to administer Benedryl. I, of course, said yes. She insisted that he was just fine otherwise. I told her was going into a training session at 2pm and to call my voice mail just to let me know how things were going in and hour but to call my cell phone if she needed me urgently.

I started my training session at 2pm and at 2:15 my cell phone rang. My heart sank to my knees. It was the school nurse. She said that it was continuing to progress and that he was now breaking out into hives on his trunk, neck, face & arms. I needed to come get him because he was really itchy. She said he was still fine otherwise and that I just needed to get him because he was really uncomfortable. I said ok. I ended my training, went back to my desk, packed up my laptop etc and headed out the door.

Now, right at that moment, we were in the middle of a horrendous thunderstorm. It was pouring out. I got in the car and realized I had NO GAS. Also, I had hit a pot hole the previous week and I was riding around on a donut because I hadn't had time to get to the dealer ship to see if it could be fixed. (that's a story for another day). So, I get on the highway and I can only go 40 mph b/c of the tire and the rain. As I am driving to the rest stop on the highway (about 5 miles) I call the pediatrician office to see if the want me to bring him in. I speak to the nurse who says she'll need to consult with the dr and call me back.

I pull into the gas station and get out. I am going back and forth with myself...should I just put in $10 worth or should I fill it. I decide to fill it because I don't know where I am going to have to go today. I drive a mini-van with a 20 gallon tank and I am at the worlds slowest gas pump. It too 10 minutes to fill it. Why I didn't just stop half way through is beyond me....but I didn't'. I get back in the car and see I missed the Dr. calling back. So, I call them again. They tell me that they want me to take him to the ER for precaution. OK, I can do that.

I hang up and call my husband to tell him that they want me to take him to the ER. He says, "OK, don't panic. He's ok. They had to give him an EPIpen shot because his throat was starting to close up and he couldn't breath. When they do that they have to call the ambulance. They are on their way to the ER." I felt the blood drain from my face. I was driving so I had to stay calm. I started taking deep breaths and I just kept saying "yep", "ok", "I understand". I had to get off the highway and take the main road into the city because my tire was still wobbling all over the place. What normally would take 15 minutes to drive took me 45 minutes. It was the longest drive of my life. I kept thinking of all the terrible out comes. Then I started praying. I just wanted to be there and make sure he was ok. I was feeling parazlized to do anything because of the stupid traffic. It was just the worse feeling I have ever had....THE WORSE.

I finally get to the ER. I run in and the behavior specialist from the school (who rode in the ambulance with him) meets me at the door. She tells me that everything is ok...that he is fine. That they are giving him steroids and he's been given oxygen and using some humidifier thing. (I forget the name). She brings me back. I walk into the room and he's chatting up a storm with the nurses. I wanted to run and hug him and break down crying but I was afraid to 1. scare him and 2. embarrass him (he is 10 afterall). He smiles up at me. It's at this moment I know that he is going to be just fine.

P joins us about 20 minutes later. Then we spend the next 4 hours there because they need to observe him to make sure he doesn't have a rebound reaction. We head home after the 4 hours goes by with a RX for 2 epipens and 4 days worth of prednisone. We stop to eat on the way home and B seem like himself. What a day!

The next morning his doctor's office calls to say they want to see him. I make an appointment for 12:40. At 8:15 I take the neighbor's kids over to the school and B comes with us so he can pick up his book bag and papers. I go into the nurses office to tell her he's doing well and to thank her. He come into the office 5 minutes later and his face is covered in hives. We go into her office and she pulls up his shirt. He has hives all over his belly. She calls his dr and tells them what is happening. They say if the hives continue to administer the epipen again. We give him Benedryl first and wait. Hives continue to progress. So, we give him the epipen which means we need to call for the ambulance again. Now, I am still in my PJ's with just my jacket on. I don't even have my purse with me but before the ambulance takes him I run over to the house and grab it. I come back to the school and jump in the ambulance. Back to the ER we go.

To make a long story short. He is fine. We stay the 4 hours again and then head to his Dr. office. The Dr says we need to see an allergist. He says the 2nd epipen was probably overkill but you do always need to err on the side of caution.

I guess this type of delayed reaction and then secondary reaction is not completely unheard of, but it is very rare. He's just going to have to have an Epipen with him at all times now. Should make for a fun summer! I called the allergist and they can't see him until Aug 10th! Gotta love the medical system.

So, needless to say, it was an interesting 2 days. I am so grateful he is ok. I have never been so scared in my life. Of course, my body is paying the price today, but I can handle it. I am just glad he's ok.

What happened on Tuesday this week

This has been a really sucky week. Tuesday I had a minor run in with my boss. I was working at home and we were using IM to communicate and we had a major misunderstanding about something that needed to be done for a client. She got pretty snippy with me on IM. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer her phone. I ended up crying because she upset me so much. Thank God I was at home. I hate when you have the uncontrollable urge to cry and you can't stop it no matter how hard you try. Later that same day she IM's me asking me if I am going to be doing a training that was scheduled at 2pm. Now, the reason I was working at home was because I had a meeting at my son's school at 1pm to go over his IEP for the next school year. There was no way I was going to be able to do it. Plus, I was almost positive that the training was on Wed..not Tuesday but I didn't say anything because of what had happened that morning. So, I IM back for her to see if she can reschedule it for 3pm and then I could do it. All through my meeting at the school I kept thinking about how I was going to do the training because all my materials were at the office...so I only half heard what the school staff was saying at the meeting. She calls my cell and leaves a message saying that she was able to reschedule the training. I get the message at 2:15 after my mtg. I rush home and call her. She gets on the phone and says, "I am so sorry...I was wrong the training is tomorrow" UGH!! I was so mad. I knew that but I thought maybe I was wrong. By this time I was just so frazzled. But, I just had to let it go. No point in making myself so upset about it. The next morning she was all nice and tried to "smooth things over". I like my boss and she is normally really great. This was just a real bumpy day. I hope not to have another one like it with her for a long time. At the end of the day I had a HUGE glass of wine. That made me feel a little more relaxed.

Another day gone by....

Today was a whirlwind.

Had my yearly allergy testing this morning. Had to get B and the neighbors kids (who we take to school every morning) out the door all by myself today...and somehow get myself ready and do the Dr. office by 9am. I was just a little stressed! But, amazingly I made it there by 9:05. Testing went well. Most of my allergies are down and I haven't aquired any new ones. She said I can start coming every other week for shots now. Whooohoo!! :o)

Got to work at 10ish. Brought coffee for everyone. We had a two hour meeting this afternoon....employee survey results. fun, fun, fun... I've been to more lively funerals. But, we survived. The rest of the afternoon flew by.

P calls me at 4pm, as he is on his way to pick up B for another "make-up" baseball game, to tell me about the awful day he had at work. He recently had to "let someone go" at work...long story...but he did it the humane way, when he really just wanted to fire this employee outright. Well, she sends a letter today address to the CEO and the head of HR saying that he made promises that he didn't keep. Which is totally untrue. P has always handled things from an HR perspective in what was in the best interest of the employee first, then the company. Sometimes that meant "bending the rules" but he was always fair and has earned the respect of his employees because of this. Now because of this witch, he has to do everything by the book. He is so infuriated. It is just so frustrating to see him so upset. I want to go and give her a piece of my mind...but of course, can't do that. I just hope this all blows over and he can let it go. He'll be fine workwise, they aren't even concerned about it. It just means he'll have to do everything "by the book" from now on because he'll never know when they are "keeping tabs on him". UGH! People can be so selfish sometimes. He bent over backwards for this lunatic to make sure she wasn't left "high and dry" and she still wanted more.

Then to top things off, P picks up B from his after school program. B hands him a note. Apparently, he was throwing rocks at recess. I don't know if he was throwing them at anyone or anything....I'll find that out later. But, he was sent to the priciples office. Something he's managed NOT to do in the last few months. Just when I thought we were out of the woods....BAM! It's always something. :o)

So, I'm off for home. It should be a fun night.

Lazy Sunday...

What an odd day.

Woke up at 9am and P and I cuddled in bed until 10am. Then I had to get up b/c I was singing the 11:30am mass.

Got up, ate, made my pill boxes for the week, got showered & dressed and headed off to church. P & B decided not to go, which was fine with me.

I sang the 11:30 and it was nice. The contemporary music director played for me. He'll be doing the 11:30 for the foreseeable future until we find a new Music Minister....(that's a whole separate blog for another time). Fr. Jim's homily was really nice today. All about our relationship with God and above all things that is what is important. Our own personal relationship with God. I really like him. He is so down to earth. He is one of the only reasons I keep coming to church.

Then I head home and P and I take B to his long awaited baseball game! It was a beautiful day. We came home and I passed out on the couch for two hours. Then I got up and made dinner.

P & I watched the Tony's last night. It's funny, for the first time ever I watched them and did not have that longing for "what might have been" like I usually do. This time it was P that said he misses it. He misses the energy...the craziness. Maybe someday we'll both get back to it.

So, that was it. A lazy Sunday. Exciting, no?

Rain....Rain...Rain...

I am so sick of this rain. We've had more rain the past 6 weeks....close to 15 inches at this point! Ugh!

B's baseball game was cancelled again today. Poor kid. They still have to make up 4 games before Monday. Don't think that's going to happen.

My MIL is coming down today to take my husband shopping for his birthday...which was back in May. That means I have to get my act together because she'll be her in a hour or so.

I am crabby today. Combination of the rain & PMS I think.

I bordering on depression again. I need to kick myself out of it, but right now, I just don't feel like it.

Grumpf!

Home today

I'm home sick today. I didn't sleep very well last night and I woke up this morning with a major headache and I feel sick to my stomach. I was going to drag myself to work but then I decided that I really needed to listen to my body and take a sick day. So, I did.

Things are still going well. I have my ups and downs. I still can NOT get use to the fact that I'll be fine one day, almost like there isn't a thing wrong with me, and then the next day I can barely walk. It really is frustrating. That and the memory recall thing. I CAN'T STAND THAT!!! It really upsets me. I feel so stupid. I can't think of things fast enough so when I am having a conversation with someone, I sound like an idiot.

Things with P are just wonderful. I can not believe how lucky I am to have him. I still am amazed that every year I grow to love him even more. Just when I think it is not possible to have a deeper connection with him, he does something or says something that just brings my level of love and devotion to him to a deeper level. I just adore him and I thank God everyday for bringing him into my life.

B is doing so well in school. He has made HUGE strides this year. He has friends and overall things are just better. I am hopefully that this carries over into the summer and into next school year. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Life is slowing down finally after three months of craziness. It started back on the last weekend of March and went up until last weekend. We had something to do EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND!!! It's been nuts. We haven't been able to get much down around the house. But, it'll get done. All in due time.

That's about it. I'm going to go lay down and sleep some more. I hope I'm not sick for the weekend. That just would not be fun.

Toodles!