Sept 11, 2001 - Never Forget

It's hard to imagine that five years has gone by. So much has happened in my life since then but I can still clearly remember the details of that day. Just as if it had happened yesterday.

My husband left for a business trip in Toronto that morning. He was up and left the house at 6pm. I had a team meeting that morning at 9am with my new business unit in sales and it was my job to set up the room/breakfast etc. So, I got my son out
the door to school (he was in kindergarten) and was on the road to work by 8:15 (a minor miracle for me). I put the news station on the radio and was listening to a report about a plane crashing into the Twin Towers in NYC. I had just pulled in
to the parking lot at work. I sat there and said to myself, I don't need to worry about my husband because he was heading to Canada and his plane would be no where near NYC. I was running late for the set up of my meeting so I turned the car off and headed into work.

The next hour was a blur. As work of the 2nd plane hitting got out I was running between the conference room where I was making sure everything was going smoothly for the 9am meeting and my desk where I was trying to get information on what
exactly was happening. I was instant messaging with my mom (who lives in Fairfield, CT - 45 minutes out side of NYC) and she said it was crazy what was happening. I told her that my husband was flying to Canada that morning. She then IM'd me
"Janice, they are high-jacking these planes...." I felt the blood rush out of my face. I was completely terrified now.

I started to frantically search for the stupid itinerary that he gave me. I tried calling his cell phone...no luck, wouldn't go through. What the heck time was he suppose to land...I called his secretary...couldn't get through. It was the scariest hour of my life. I didn't know what was going on. Then the first tower fell. It was all surreal. Then finally Paul's secretary called me and said she had spoken to him. That he was on the ground in Toronto and he was ok. Then the 2nd tower fell. For a period of time there was so much confusion...planes hitting the pentagon (which was true) and the Capitol (which wasn't).

One of my co-workers had a close friend who worked for Cantor-Fitzgerald. He was the boyfriend of her room mate, they all went to college together. Her roommate called and said that there was a message on her voicemail from him. He didn't survive.

Around noon time we were all sent home. I went and picked up my son from school. I wanted him home with me. We played games and hung out. I kept the TV off. He was only 5. This was too much for me to handle at 31...never mind a 5 year old. He took a nap for an hour at one point. I turned the TV on...it was all so unbelievable.

I am originally from NY. Born in the Bronx. My parents grew up in the Bronx and most of my extended family still live in NYC. We didn't know if any of them had been effected. It would be a day or so before we knew that some how we were lucky and no one was hurt. My uncle was a security guard at one of the surrounding buildings (the one that had the side collapse later in the day). He got out, unhurt. My cousin was walking on his way to work at the towers when the first plane hit. He was running late and wasn't inside the building when it happened. He was fine.

I now live in the metro west of Boston, MA. The company I work for is around the corner from TJX, who lost 7 employees. My husband was flying that day and very likely took off in between the two planes that hit the towers. Somehow, through the Grace of God, through Fate, through just being damn lucky....I lost no one close to me that day. That day changed me, as it did so many others. It made me realize what is important in this life. Family, friends, Love.

It took my husband three days to get back home. He and his co-workers ended up renting a car and driving back. He met me at my son's soccer game that Friday afternoon. I was so happy to see him. So grateful that he was alive. But, it took us a few days to be comfortable with each other. We both had very different experiences that Sept 11th. He faced his own mortality and I faced the prospect of losing him...if only for an hour. It pales in comparison to those who lost love ones that day. But, it gave me glimmer of the pain they must have felt. I hope to never be that close to that again and I say a prayer everyday for the ones who are still in pain to this day.

So, five years have passed. My life is definitely better today than it was then. My marriage is stronger. My relationship with my son is better. I talk to my parents, siblings, friends more. I try to take nothing for granted. I live for today and hope for tomorrow. It can all be gone in an instant. But, I refuse to live in fear. That takes up too much time. I want to spend my time doing the things that I love with the people I love. So, at least for me, the terrorists did not succeed. If anything, they made me see the things that are truly important in life. Out of the terror of that day I gained a clarity that may have taken years for me to find. It is amazing.