P and I had a disagreement last night.
Then last night I had a terrible dream. The details are kind of fuzzy but the bottom line is he was making fun of me behind my back to other people. Tapping into my self esteem issues I guess. It was really unnerving...I can't explain it. I woke up at 5am and was crying. I was so upset. I just felt so betrayed. I know it was only a dream and it's my sub-conscience telling me something but it just felt so real. I haven't been able to shake the feeling.
It's been a rough week. AQ was found in an alley then end of last week. AQ was in the hospital in the psych ward since then. AQ was released yesterday and is staying with AQ's parents. It's been a very rough week. Lots more to tell there...just no time right now.
Found out my coworker (who sits right behind me) is pregnant again. When the f%*k is this not going to bother me anymore??? You'd think that after 2 years of being told it's probably never going to happen on it's own AND intellectually knowing that having another baby would not be the best idea given my medical situation....still....it just sucks. I was genuinely happy for her when she told me. I even think I squealed...then that night it set in. UGH. It's going to be a long 9 months...
Anyway, must get ready for work now. I don't want to. I really just want to get back in bed and pull the covers over my head. Ah, depression...rearing it's ugly head again. AF isn't due till next week. Hopefully when she arrives this black mood I'm in will go away. One can only hope.
About Me
- TheatreChick93
- Massachusetts, United States
- I am 41 years old. I have been married to my husband for 15 years. We have a son who was born in April 1996. We live in Central Massachusetts with our dog Maggie (a black lab we adopted from the animal rescue league) and our cat Sam (a stray that adopted us) I graduated from college with a BFA in Theatre in 1993 (hence the name) and for a few years pursued a career as an actress. Then life took over and I got married, had a baby and decided to get a "real" job. In November 2004, I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson's disease. In December 2004, I was hospitalized for surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. In December 2009, I was laid off from my job. In June 2010, my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 14. Stick around to see what happens next!
1 comment:
Bad news, good news. I'm so relieved AQ is okay. But really aggravated for your work situation, too. It's going to be very, very ugly if one of my coworkers gets knocked up. The guys' wives all seem to be having babies, but I don't see them.
Hang in there. Look straight ahead. Move your desk around if you need to. Music and headphones are good, too. La la la we're not listening.
Post a Comment