I don't know where to start. Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by it all. I am trying to keep a positive outlook but it's really hard sometimes. I don't think I have truly dealt with the reality of my disease. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I keep thinking that it is all going to go away or that somehow they got it all wrong.
I feel so inadequate these days. I guess I've been inadequate for a long time now, it's just now I have a reason...excuse I guess...as to why. I just want to feel healthy...I want to have energy. I want to be the kind of mother to my son that I always thought I'd be. I want to be a better wife. My husband is so wonderful. God blessed me greatly with bringing him into my life. Words can not express how incredible he is to me. He takes care of me. Sometimes, I get sad that he has to take care of me. I get scared too. What if something happens to him someday. Who is going to take care of him? What if he gets sick?
I worry alot lately. I worry about B...about P. I am always afraid something bad is going to happen to them. That they'll be taken away from me.
I am tired now. I'll write more later.
About Me
- TheatreChick93
- Massachusetts, United States
- I am 41 years old. I have been married to my husband for 15 years. We have a son who was born in April 1996. We live in Central Massachusetts with our dog Maggie (a black lab we adopted from the animal rescue league) and our cat Sam (a stray that adopted us) I graduated from college with a BFA in Theatre in 1993 (hence the name) and for a few years pursued a career as an actress. Then life took over and I got married, had a baby and decided to get a "real" job. In November 2004, I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson's disease. In December 2004, I was hospitalized for surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. In December 2009, I was laid off from my job. In June 2010, my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 14. Stick around to see what happens next!
