i went to my Dr two weeks ago for my physical. She quite bluntly told me that if I don't lose weight I'll develop diabetes. She basically told me that this is something I can control and with all the other stuff I can't control, this is what I should be focusing on.
So, I know all this. My head knows this...and even my heart so why don't I do it.
Quite frankly, I do not know.
I am searching for the answers and in the meantime, trying to eat better (so far so good) and start moving (not so good here...but working on it).
I am going to try and keep a diary here so I can figure this all out and hopefully accomplish the very realistic goal I have set for myself. Not sharing that yet...but I have told someone, so it's not a secret.
Ideas of why i just don't "just do it".
1. I have an addictive personality and food is my drug of choice.
2. I am hiding from something...but I don't know what
a. new idea on this is that it has something to do with my lack of self esteem growing up. My first memory of "binge eating" is when I was about 11...had to do with 7-11 and lots of candy.
3. I am just lazy and a coward.
Well, there ya go. That's my story at the moment. Comments are welcome. I heard something today that said "Life is a Gift" and "You'd be surprised at how helpful you can be if you just tell the truth". I need the truth.
About Me
- TheatreChick93
- Massachusetts, United States
- I am 41 years old. I have been married to my husband for 15 years. We have a son who was born in April 1996. We live in Central Massachusetts with our dog Maggie (a black lab we adopted from the animal rescue league) and our cat Sam (a stray that adopted us) I graduated from college with a BFA in Theatre in 1993 (hence the name) and for a few years pursued a career as an actress. Then life took over and I got married, had a baby and decided to get a "real" job. In November 2004, I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson's disease. In December 2004, I was hospitalized for surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. In December 2009, I was laid off from my job. In June 2010, my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 14. Stick around to see what happens next!
1 comment:
the truth....
the truth is that you are loved
the truth is that you are worth it
the truth is that you need to do this for yourself and your family
the truth is that you are scared. You are not a coward or lazy. You are hiding behind the mask of a big person, afraid that the skinny girl inside wont be good enough ( by other people's standards that don't know crap ) and you wont have anything to blame.
The TRUTH is that the big Janice is beautiful, funny, talented and great fun to be with. But, she is going to be gone before her time if she doesn't change her perception of herself and do what she can do to control her health.
That my friend, is my truth to you...
Post a Comment