How does life get so messed up?

So, I haven't blogged in awhile. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because the things that are going on in my life are so personal that I didn't know how to write about them without implicating others.

I have a family member who has been a drug addict since this person was 16. I'll call this person AQ. AQ had become clean on 9-11-01...well in the days that followed. Seemed that the events of that day shook this person into reality and made them want to get help. AQ had a great life. A family with a spouse and kids, a house, great job...everything...and AQ just didn't care. AQ sqandered all the money and left AQ's family with almost nothing. AQ's family stayed and when AQ got clean and sober they rebuilt their lives.

For three years AQ stayed clean. Then 2 years ago went to a dr for back pain. AQ was diagnosed with arthitisis and was given an RX for pain killers (perkocet). AQ knew that the pills would be bad...but took them anyway. At first it was ok...but a few months into it AQ began abusing them. AQ then started using money to fill the RX's AQ was getting from two different drs. It just all started to spin out of control and when AQ couldn't get the pain killers, AQ turned to street drugs again. AQ's spouse figured out what was going on about 4 months ago but AQ's spouse didn't tell anyone. AQ thought that AQ could get it together all alone. AQ was wrong.

AQ disappeared two weeks ago and AQ's spouse finally contacted the rest of AQ's family. Long story short...AQ was found, alive. AQ had been arested and taken to a mental ward for suicide watch but relased 24 hours later. AQ went home for a week but then disappeared again. Luckily, AQ ran out of money and was picked up by the police again and brought home. AQ wants help. AQ's family started to try and help but it was very hard. Apparently, you can't just check yourself into a rehab like you hear about all the celebrities doing. AQ was told by some places that they might be able to take AQ in 3 or 4 weeks. AQ's response was that AQ would be dead by then. Very, very frustrating.

Finally, today, AQ is going for an evaluation at a rehab. We are all hoping that AQ gets admitted.

AQ has destroyed the family life again. They are penniless...the mortgage is 4 months behind. AQ's spouse is not realizing that they will probably lose the house. AQ's spouse expects AQ's family to step in a pay all the bills. Not only does AQ's family not have the resources to this..even if we wanted to...but we feel that AQ needs to figure out a way to fix this.

AQ's parents are beside themselves. They finally sent AQ's spouse some money to help but at the expense of them not going on vacation this summer and giving up on replacing the rugs in their home & some furniture. AQ's father owns his own business which has not been doing well...and he had to take a loan out of his life insurance this year to have a surgery for a torn rotator cuff. AQ's parents are stable financially but they do not have any extra money to be giving away. Not to mention that AQ and AQ's spouse have made AQ's parents feel like they never give enough. AQ's spouse feels that it is AQ's parents responsibility to fix things now. I am not a big fan of AQ's spouse right now. We have never been close with AQ's spouse...it has always been a strained relationship.

This is just so hard. I am so angry at AQ and AQ's spouse. I really want to give them a piece of my mind...but that won't do anyone any good right now.

I am rambling now...and I don't know if this makes any sense...but I just needed to get it out. The complexities of this whole situation are just overwhelming. Everyone is being hurt by this. How could AQ be so selfish and stupid. I know it's an illness...but...it still makes me mad.

Please pray for us. It's going to be a long, long road...